Could the mother-in-law be right?

Imagine the horror ;-)

So a little while ago Jen and here mother were having a conversation about blogs. She had heard of ours, visited it and was left asking herself....huh? Now, truth be told, she is not the only one who has asked me why I would spend time doing this...but she was the only one who described it as "his online diary". (Oh, I know she is blushing now) At first, I laughed it off not thinking too much about it...since in reality I simply started this as an easier way to pass along updates to the family (the static website was just a little too much for me and blogger makes it pretty darn easy). But it didn't take me too long to quickly devolve into rants about non-family stuff...note the first blog was already starting the trend. So I guess...[pause for effect]...this HAS become in effect an online diary (henceforth to be called a journal). Shock...horror, the mother-in-law was right ;-)

Now, having said that...an interesting thing happened along with that discovery. Besides the fact that I quickly replaced the work diary with journal (as somehow journal is less sissy) [insert snarky comment from CherkyB here] I also realized what it means to have a journal. The most important element of journaling (and thus blogging) is the actual process of evaluating your experiences and distilling them down to something which is important enough to write down. Ouch...my head is starting to hurt...

The most interesting consequence of the blogging experience so far has easily been the way it has changed the way I see the world. Before I was always seeing things from the participant role. Now I find myself more frequently stepping outside and looking at life from an observer role....thinking "how would you tell people about this story/event...what are you seeing...what are you hearing...etc". This seems simple and insignificant but it is not! You really do see things differently when you step outside for a minute. The biggest change I notice is the ability to see things with less of a bias. This actually comes in quite handy with the kiddos as you can laugh a little more at the quirky things they do...and it also comes in handy with the spouse as you can better understand where they are coming from (even if you still disagree with their conclusion). Once I started seeing things this way...I gained a better appreciation for just how much our personal biases color our world. Not in an obvious racist or bigot kind of way...no, in a much more subtle way. It is much like bringing a bad day at work home. If you are not aware of it your responses are generally more terse and confrontational than on a good work day. Not because you have suddenly stopped liking your family...it's just due to your disposition. Once you realize what is going on (usually the spouse will do this for you with a glare of some sort) you suddenly snap out of it. So in effect, I guess I am talking about "self induced snap". Next step is to actually stop saying the stupid things BEFORE saying them...

So I guess the answer to the question of "why do you blog" is now more complex than I ever imagined as it is also helping me to better understand myself - rather than just help others understand me. Ironic.